


Oh For The Love Of Women

by RaevynNocturne



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Jack Harkness Flirts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29268702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaevynNocturne/pseuds/RaevynNocturne
Summary: Prompt: the Doctor seems to be having trouble with his flirting, and has asked you, his female companion, to help, so you enlist some extra help. And the results couldn't be any funnier!
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the scrumptious idea if Tom Ellis, lead actor from Lucifer, as the 14th Doctor.
> 
> [Y/N] = Your Name

"I can't believe you're asking ME to help you, Doctor. You're not at all bothered by the idea that your COMPANION is helping you to flirt... With other women?" you ask, a little bitterly; he, however, is oblivious to your tone.

"But... You're a female, I thought for sure you'd be able to help me..." he pleads, and you try so hard to resist smacking him in his gorgeous face.

"And it never occurred to you how rude that thought might be?" you retort, acerbically. He hangs his head dejectedly, and you growl softly.

"Fine. But I'm going to need some help. Just... Let me handle this..." you say with a sigh, and he smiles faintly up at you. 

You walk over to the console, and lovingly pat the metal, smiling brightly for the first time today, at the TARDIS, and send her your idea, silently. It wouldn't do for the Doctor to hear, because he'd try to shut it down quickly, but you want to see this idea happen. The TARDIS, while confused by the whole situation, is intrigued, and even amused, enough to send out the messages, out through time and space, to the five people you hope will help. You've given coordinates, and times, for them to meet you, and you pray they'll come, if for no other reason than to see the spectacular drama that will ensue. Once the messages are sent, the TARDIS inputs the coordinates for you, and you pull the lever to head out, causing the Doctor, who had been sitting with his head in his hands, to look up curiously. When he opens his mouth, looking like he wants to ask, you glare at him, and he closes his mouth quickly. When Old Blue (as you've taken to calling the TARDIS) finally lands, you stare coldly at the Doctor.

"Stay here. In fact, go to the kitchen, and make tea enough for 7 people, and stay out of the control room until I call for you," you tell him, voice so cold it leaves him almost terrified. He dashes out of the control room, and does as he's told.

You exit the TARDIS, and am relieved to see two people standing around outside their ships, talking to each other. You wait patiently, wondering if the others will show or not, and to see how long the two guys talking take to notice you.

As a familiar sound occurs near you all, they finally look up, and notice you, but you put your hand up, signaling them to stop.

"Just wait, I'll explain everything once the others get here... If they decide to come," you remark with a smirk, and are rewarded when the two men smile knowingly at each other.

The last three people finally arrive, and you're so excited you can barely contain yourself, but you manage to reign it in long enough to invite them all inside. The smile fondly at the TARDIS, and don't hesitate to follow you inside. Once the last person enters, the door closes automatically behind him, and the others mill around the console.

"Ok, we're all here, mind explaining what exactly we're doing?" an older gentleman, with a deep Scottish accent, asks calmly. You smile wickedly, and explain the situation. 

"Well, Doctors, I'm hoping you can help the current Doctor flirt. Yes, I know, it's the strangest thing you've likely ever heard, but after one mission went completely sideways, and backwards, because he couldn't respond to one lady's flirting, he decided he needed lessons. So he asked me... Yeah, it's that bad. And after everything I've heard, I figured you guys night be my best help. That, and you can laugh at him while he learns," you tell them, laughing when one of the younger looking guys, dressed in a pinstripe suit, smacks his forehead hard.

"Oh that's a travesty, that is. Well, you've come to the right place, Miss...?" the man says, a light Scottish hint to his accent.

"Oh, sorry, I'm [Y/N], his companion," you reply, a little embarrassed.

"Nice to meet you, [Y/N]. Don't worry, I think between us, we'll get him sorted out," the man says, and grins at a couple of the other Doctors. Only the older gentleman, and the blonde haired lady, stand apart, letting their younger selves hash out the details. You can see the velvet clad Doctor is thinking hard, most likely trying to figure out why he's there given how old he looks. But he says nothing, merely watches the three younger Doctors sort out how to handle the situation.


	2. Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter didn't quiet turn out like I thought, but I figured it's a start. Have to add some tension in, but not quite how you'd think.

"The first thing you need to know is that women love to being complimented, no matter what. And they love gifts: like chocolate, flowers, teddy bears," the pinstriped Doctor was trying to explain, while the female Doctor listened in, trying so hard to not crack up laughing. You, on the other hand, were starting to regret the whole thing. It had started out funny, at first, until Pinstripes (as you call him) tried to use you as a recipient for his techniques, then it got old.

"Oh come on, not all of them like gifts! Although they do like compliments, they like to be made to feel good, feel wanted," the 'youngest' Doctor said, the one you call the Nose, because it was pretty long; he was actually a sweet guy, even if he was surprisingly shy around you.

"Oh come on, of course women love gifts! The trick is trying to figure out what they would actually like," the bowtie wearing Doctor piped in, smiling at the poor, black clad current Doctor; the Goth, you finally decided on referring to him as, simply for his preference to wear black, which did actually look good on him.

"I don't know whether to laugh or cry," the female Doctor whispers to you, and you both snicker. The velvet clad Doctor, the Magician, smirks when he hears the comments, but remains quiet, preferring to watch than to join in; after all, what did he know about human mating rituals, as he often remarked, which always made you chuckle.

"I think both are adequate responses," you respond, again with you both snickering. 

It has been at least a week, but the lessons were going slowly, mostly because the three Doctors couldn't agree on what was important. 

"Oi, [Y/N], what do you think: are gifts more important, or compliments?" Pinstripes asks, figuring he'd ask the only human in the room.

"Oh no you don't, I already told you, leave me out of it," you reply dryly, slightly annoyed that he's asked for your help again.

"Wait, I thought it was a fair question. God knows we can't exactly ask our female counterpart- no offense," the Nose asks.

"None taken. You're right, I couldn't answer anyways," she says brightly, beaming. You groan, and glare at the group.

"I'm not a typical female, so my likes won't count," you explain, once again.

"Well what DO you like, then? Bowtie asks, genuinely curious.

"It doesn't matter," you reply darkly, suddenly feeling the need to walk away. You are afraid you'd accidentally admit that this whole situation hurt, because you are in love with your Doctor, so watching him do this was almost too much.

"Leave it," Nose says quietly to the other two, and they return their attention to Goth. Unbeknownst to you, Magician glances sideways at you, as though suddenly everything made perfect sense, like a lightbulb lit up and he could see it all.

"Ok, let's leave the gifts and stuff aside, how do I get a girl interested enough to even flirt with me?" Goth asks, feeling confused and a little frustrated.

"Well, that depends on the kind of girl..." Pinstripes starts to say, but his voice fades away as you walk to the kitchen, tears blurring your vision. You busy yourself making drinks and snacks for everyone, hoping the activity will occupy you long enough to calm down. 

"Tired of the arguing?" the female Doctor asks, leaning against the door jam, watching you move around the kitchen in a frantic burst of activity.

"Something like that..." you reply carefully, not wanting to get into it; no matter how much you like her, she was still on incarnation of the Doctor, you doubted she'd understand.

"Or are you upset because you like the current Doctor? You see him asking for help with learning to flirt, without realizing how you feel for him. And now you've asked his younger selves to help, and it hurts even more," she replies softly, coming to sit on a stool at the kitchen island. 

You say nothing, too focused on trying not to cry while finishing the snacks. You are surprised, therefore, when you turn to put a couple things on the tray, and she's right behind you; without warning, she pulls you into a hug, a nice, strong hug.

"I can't pretend to understand humans and flirting, but I have flirted before. I just don't always understand it. But I know love, and I know pain, when I see it," she says, slowly releasing you, lifting your chin with her finger.

"The four younger incarnations before me had someone they loved, truly loved; in fact, there were two beautiful, young women they shared, which sounds worse when I say it out loud," she remarks, and you giggle at her puzzled but guilty expression.

"The first girl was Rose. She met the man with the leather jacket; he sacrificed himself to save her, turning into the man with the pinstripe suit. She got stuck in an alternate universe, but that's a whole nother story. Then the next one, the gangly man with the bowtie, he met Clara, and they fell in love; she was there for his regeneration, into the gray haired Scottsman. This time, she sacrificed herself for someone else, and he fought for centuries to get back to her, and to get her back. We honestly don't know what happened to her, but we've been too afraid to look for her. I didn't have anything like that, although I did flirt with Yaz, one of my Fam, a companion I liked, but it never went anywhere. So you see, we can love, but it hurts to lose the ones we love. We've lost a couple to death, but so far, only one of us fought back to prevent a death. If you can call it that. But you can't tell him, the older looking Doctor with the velvet coat, about it; he doesn't remember her, and it would be cruel to bring her up," she explains, taking the things from your hands and placing them on the tray.

"You go to the library or the garden, I'll just take these to the boys," she says with a bright smile, taking the tray with her; you make no move to stop her, mind stuck on what she told you. The Doctor had loved so hard he was willing to risk death to protect them? You always knew he'd has other companions, in previous incarnations, but it didn't seem prudent to ask about them. Suddenly you remember one if the first trips you and he had made, to a garden planet; he'd frozen in front of a gorgeous, multicolored rose, and his eyes look pained. He shook his head when you touched his shoulder, saying only that he was taken away by the beauty of the flower, but you knew better; that was pain, and you didn't think asking about it would help.

Taking your tea and a bag of crisps to the garden, you sit on a stone bench near the waterfall; you loved this room, because it was a marvel of impossibility, and it was beautiful. You would listen to the sound of the waterfall, or sometimes you'd move further away and listen to the tinkling of the creek. No matter how bad it got, you could always relax here.

You are so lost in thought that you failed to hear the soft footsteps coming from behind you. Setting your now empty cup next to you, you go to reach for your crisps, only to find they're gone. Panicked, you look around, and that's when you notice the older looking Doctor, but without his hoodie or velvet coat, eating your crisps, leaning against the tree near the bench, eating your crisps. He watches the waterfall, and looks more relaxed and peaceful than he has since he first arrived.

"Where did this room come from? I'm sure it wasn't around when I was around, although I don't think I tried looking too long. Not sure. Maybe I'll look for it next time I'm back on my TARDIS," he says with a smile, although he doesn't look at you.

"Who knows? Maybe you're WHY it's here: self-fullfilling prophecy, as they're called," you reply sagely. He turns to look at you, surprised and amused by your response.

"You're right! I never even thought of that," he says, and pops another crisp in his mouth, eyes twinkling mischievously.

"If you wanted crisps, you could've gotten your own," you finally say, grumpily.

"Didn't know if until I saw yours," he replies mischievously. You roll your eyes, and he laughs.

"How'd you know I was here?" you ask, curious despite being annoyed at him.

"When my next incarnation, the female Doctor, came back with the food, but you didn't follow her, I got the feeling you weren't going to be returning for a while. I asked the TARDIS, and she told me, so I came looking," he explained, and came over to sit next to you. 

"Oh, ok. Why?" you ask, although you have a fair idea of his answer.

"Because while the current Doctor may be oblivious, some of us noticed your reactions. We haven't said anything, it's not our place, but it's fair to you. I see it, the female Doctor has seen it, and I'm pretty sure even my former incarnation, the young man with the bowtie, has seen it; the other two might have, but they're still having fun arguing over what's the best starting point to flirting," he says around a mouthful of crisps, rolling his eyes, making you snort and smirk. 

You turn back to the waterfall, wondering what it would look like with colored lights under it, and at night. Suddenly, the ambient light dims, and randomly placed colored lights flicker on and off under the waterfall. You gasp, covering your mouth with one hand, overwhelmed at how beautiful it truly is; the Doctor looks at you from the side, and smiles gently.

"You know, it takes a lot to get the TARDIS to like you. So the fact that she did this means you're something special. So if nothing else, at least she likes you," he says softly, enjoying the wonderment in your eyes.

"I don't understand," you say, just as softly, whispering, almost as if after talking normally would break the enchantment.

"The TARDIS is telepathic, she makes the rooms for us, and stores old ones. She must have heard your thoughts and made it happen. You did think about colored lights, didn't you?" he asked, eyes crinkling at the corners from his big smile; you turn to smile at him, and nod.

"I'd always wondered about that. I mean, she made this for me after we visited this one garden planet, and I had told the Doctor that I loved the waterfall! He told me it has just shown up the next day, so I'd thought it was him that did it, but I guess it was her all along!" you reply excitedly, turning back to stare at the waterfall.

The Doctor puts his arm around your shoulders, hoping it would be a comfort, and to tell you that he was enjoying the spectacular view too. Without realizing it, you scoot a little closer to him, and may your head on his shoulder, watching the light show. He smiles, sadly this time, hugging you close, wishing he could your pain away just as easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, I'm stumped, I really don't know how to proceed. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. But please keep it clean; this isn't smut, and while it's not rated K, I'd prefer to not get in trouble, thanks!


End file.
